In his latest effort to combat climate change, Bill Gates has unveiled a groundbreaking "digital" solution to reduce methane emissions from cows. However, the announcement quickly led to confusion among farmers when it became clear that the only "digital" part of the process involved their own fingers.

Speaking at a climate tech summit, Gates enthusiastically explained his new plan: "Methane emissions from cows are a massive problem. So I thought—why not just stop them at the source? Digitally, of course."

Attendees, assuming he meant an AI-powered device, were stunned when Gates then held up a latex glove.

"This is the technology," Gates said, slipping on an elbow-length glove with the enthusiasm of a man who has never been near a cow in his life.

Gates' "Digital Emissions Blocker™"—which many farmers have sarcastically nicknamed "The Gates Plug"—relies on human labor to manually, well, "seal the exit."

According to the official project website, the process involves "strategic methane disruption via real-time, farmer-powered intervention." In plain English: grab a cow, glove up, and prevent climate change one ‘plug’ at a time.

“We’ve optimized the technique,” Gates insisted. “It's ergonomic, sustainable, and totally scalable if people would just stop complaining.”

Despite Gates’ confidence, farmers were less enthused.

"At first, I thought he meant some kind of digital tracker,” said Iowa rancher Chuck Morrison. “Then I saw the demo video… and buddy, I did not sign up for this.”

Others pointed out obvious logistical issues.

“What happens when I have 200 cows? Am I just supposed to make this my full-time job?" asked one skeptical dairy farmer. "Or do we start hiring ‘Climate Plug Technicians’?”

Gates reassured the audience that robotic arms were "in development" but said that until the bugs were worked out, it would be "a great opportunity for young people looking to break into the green jobs sector."

In an effort to encourage adoption, Gates announced financial incentives for participating farmers, including:

• $5 per methane prevention attempt

• A free Windows 11 upgrade (whether they want it or not)

• Complimentary Microsoft Teams subscriptions "to discuss best practices"

At press time, Gates was reportedly lobbying Congress to classify farmers unwilling to participate as “climate extremists.” Meanwhile, ranchers across America were seen quietly investing in stronger air fresheners and hand sanitizer.